Who Left The Window Open?

"...and sometimes it feels like an intruder found a way in--those life-changing, habit breaking people and situations. But if you are honest with yourself, you can admit that you left a window open. Secretly hoping they'd creep in and disturb your restless sleep--shatter all you've ever identified with. As you lay there exposed, sacrificial style, its terrifying and breath-ta-kingly beautiful all at once. Something in you knows that nothing will ever be the same... if you do it right."

These words are from a former "non alcoholic" student.  A grown up now, her words convey so clearly what happens when we give up or surrender to being victimized by our situations.  She recognizes "her part" in the mess of things (she left the window open) but then quickly realizes that it is this very place where transformation begins. Ownership - if the program of recovery has taught me anything it is that I own my life, it does not own me.  When I work the Steps to identify and correct the patterns that have brought me anxiety, I own my defects and my assets, they do not own me.  When, in Step 7, I give everything to God for good use, I find a freedom from myself that is hard to explain.  I did know that first time I did this that "it will never be the same."  

The program of Recovery has shown me how to be honest about my life: I was harmed and "left the window open." Taking responsibility has taught me that it is the price we must pay to live full and purposeful lives.

Personal Journals 2015 - 2017 | Published August 1, 2012