The Hardest Words

"Discontent is the want of self-reliance: it is the infirmity of the will."
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have always been fascinated with the connection between writers like Emerson and those of the New Age or Recovery movements. It is intriguing to look at people who are ahead of their time; the ethic of America often promotes the individual and his/her ability to rise up and master destiny. I do not read this quote as a historian, but as someone who knows that people's ideas are often controversial. When I read this quote, I see how fitting it is as advice in a modern world that still promotes rugged individualism and celebrates the individual will. I can feel the trap that self-reliance sets for addicts and alcoholics who must give up self-reliance to survive.

If asked, I would probably say the only ingredient necessary for successful recovery is the willingness to let go of "self" and ask for help. The hardest words in the English language for me to learn were "please help me." However, once I learned them I began to live in a state of humility that was completely foreign to me for awhile. The more I asked for help the more I realized that I struggled to dominate others and this, in fact, caused a sickness or "infirmity" that eventually isolated me. My will, my ego is a huge problem that can only be remedied when I step toward others. I remember a friend telling me once that I would some day fill that hole in my soul if I could learn to connect with others in a deep and meaningful way.

Today I know that I am healthy when I run toward others, instead of turning inward and trying to solve my problems on my own.

Personal Journals 2015 - 2017 | Published July 18, 2012