Regardless

I don't often talk about resentments because I don't like to give them undo attention.  We learn in Alcoholics Anonymous that resentments are our number one offenders; if we don't get rid of them they can lead us back into morbid reflection and eventually lead us to a drink.  With that said, sometimes there is a resentment that seeps through and tries to stake a claim in your recovery.

Recently, a woman I very much like, and is relatively new to Recovery, told me that her Sponsor fired her because she wasn't willing to do the work and get honest.  Do you see the problem with the statement of this Sponsor? This woman has been struggling to find a good Sponsor and probably is having some difficulty learning to trust and get as honest as the Sponsor may like her to be.  However, I want to say, the literature I read tells me my goal is "love and service" and that by working the Steps I am better able, after each one, to turn my thoughts to others and help them find their way out of Addiction.

I cannot help but be angry about the damage that is done to another Alcoholic when they are fired (abandoned) and chastised just as they are beginning to delve into the damage caused by the storm of their Addiction.  Did this sponsor not hear that she is NOT GOD? I think I understand why we read, "no human power could," in How it Works at each meeting and that it never says trust people, only "trust God and clean house."  

The spiritual arrogance of people like this Sponsor makes me crazy.  We are Alcoholics, not saints.  We were lifted from the gutter to the curb, not the gutter to the pedestal.  I help those who God puts in front of me, not the ones I deem to be ready or willing or able.  My actions as a Sponsor toward the new person determines my Sobriety, not whether or not the new person stays sober.  

I will pray for this Sponsor, but I also want to tell anyone who is reading this blog that it is clear that you can stay Sober "regardless of anyone or anything."  Just as in politics there is always the "lunatic fringe" who have bastardized our purpose and our literature by reading only the parts that serve them rather than the common good.  Bless them, change me - surrender the resentment.

Personal Journals 2015 - 2017 | Published August 28, 2012